Sunday, October 30, 2011

The embryo transfer

So we were scheduled to do the embryo transfer on 20 October. We went to the clinic bright and early. Well we thought we were early. It turned out that my doc came down to see us for the procedure and we weren't there yet, so we ha to wait a couple more hours. When the time came I was asked to change into the hospital gown and was brought in the procedure room. Then the doc came in with the nurse and he called Wan in to explain to him what was gonna happen.

He said that three eggs were fertilized so he would transfer all three into my uterus. Then he showed us the photo of the three fertilized eggs. They were beautiful. Then he shooed Wan out. I thought it was kinda cute when the doc shouted to the embryologist,"I'm ready for the babies!" LOL. Then he told me to recite the selawat and with Bismillah on his lips he transferred my embryos through a catherer. And then I was wheeled back into the recovery room where I was told to lie down for an hour. I'm not ashamed to say that I spoke to the embryos in my tummy and told them to stck and stay there.

It's been almost two weeks since the transfer and I've been mostly horizontal on my bed from the time I got back from the clinic, except for when I have to get my progesterone shots at the local clinic and to the mall nearby to get a pair of sensible shoes for work. I've had to store my sexy stilletos in the closet. Bummer :P

So far I'm feeling okay except for the intermitten cramps and slight vaginal discharge but I was told that it's the side effect of the progesterone. I had a meltdown yesterday. You see, next Thursday is exactly two weeks from my transfer date and I'm supposed to the POAS then and it freaked me out! I suppose I'm afraid what would happen if the test is negative. How would I feel? How would Wan feel? Are we prepared to do this all over again? I guess I'll just have to wait till next Thursday to find out. Wish me luck! Till then it's back to my 8th book this month. I'm trying to break a record here :D

I'll leave you with a photo of my embryos :)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Of Buttcheeks and ER

So I was feeling crappy this week when I got a surprise in the mail. One of my buttcheeks sent me a good luck card! It was a good thing that I didn't get the card the day before or I would have cried buckets. See this is why I love my girlfriends. They really know how to make me smile.

On another note me and DH went for my scan on Friday and we had seven big follicles then! Hip hip hooray!!! We had the egg retrieval procedure yesterday and my doc collected 14 eggs. The procedure went well Alhamdulillah. I've heard stories of how patients woke up in the middle of the procedure and feel the pain. I'm so glad that didn't happen to me. But golly! The cramps after the procedure was so bad it actually made me cry. And there was some vaginal bleeding which I read is normal. The pain is a lot lesser today and I even got out of bed to vacuum the house hahahaha. DH is an absolutely awesome nurse although he can be quite the policeman at times. But hey, he brings me my meds and helps me bathe and I cannot ask for more than that.

So yeah we'll be waiting for the nurse to all us tomorrow to confirm when the embryo transplant is gonna be. There seems to be a lot of waiting involved huh? Will update when that happens. Till then, toodles!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Worst Hit Yet

Yesterday was a bad one. The worst I've had so far. I've been feeling gloomy the whole day for no apparent reason. Thankfully I didn't burst out crying at the office or peole might just confirm their suspicion that I'm a bit crazy.

To make things worse DH's sister called him to tell him that his brother might have Hodgkins Lymphoma. I could tell something was wrong when he was on the phone coz I could hear sniffles. Now DH is not a crier unlike me, so to hear him cry like that was heartbreaking. And it made me so sad because I know that he worries about me and now he worries about his brother too. It's like we can't catch a break dammit!

So yesterday I was convinced that the universe hates me and my efforts in bringing a baby in the world. So what did I do? I climbed on the bed after Maghrib prayer, curled into a ball and sobbed. It was literally the worst point in my life.

But now, looking bad I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I have an excellent support system in my DH, my family and my buttcheeks. Although a few words of encouragement from any one of my buttcheeks would send me on one of my crying episodes :P

I'm praying that today will be a good day. I don't think I can take another day like yesterday. I did have a rocky start this morning though. DH was supposed to try and administer my Puregon this morning so I poked the needle in and asked him to press it but he was struggling with it so much that he gave u
p and let go. And the needle got pulled out from my tummy! So I had to poke myself again. Sigh...Anyway, I should applaud his valiant effort. HR really did try.

I'm gonna end this post with a picture of the reason I cry like a lunatic. Behold the Puregon pen...


I Am Sam


I should've listened to my friend when she said not to watch this movie. But darn it Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning is too good a combination to pass. I've seen this movie before and loved it and I was thinking how bad can it be watching it the second time. I mean I cried watching it the first time too. Boy was I wrong. I didn't only cry. I literally sobbed!! The kind of sobbing where you cover your face with a pillow and bawled like a baby.

Sean Penn was AWESOME in this movie and he played the autistic father really well. I believed that he was actually autistic. And Dakota, oh you can never fault this girl. I have always loved her acting and I'm pretty sure she's grounded as well in real life, unlike most young Hollywood actors.

Anyway, yeah I should have stayed away from depressing movies. But heck, when you want something, you want something right? :P

On another note today is Day 3 of Puregon. I told DH that he has to try to administer the shots at least once. He's really a scaredy cat when it comes to injection and he really hates to see me in pain but hey, I don't want to to do this alone. We're in this together right? So yeah, tomorrow I'm making him at least to press the pen. Will let you know how that turns out tomorrow :P


Monday, October 10, 2011

Of Big Bad Wolf, waterworks and Puregon shots

So this week I decided that I've had enough crap thrown my way at the office and decided to take Friday off. Coincidentally it was also the first day of the BBW Sale so it was perfect timing. I needed a distraction from all the treatment anyway. And boy was I glad that I took the day off. The sale was fantastic! It was certainly better than last year's. I actually bought 71 books in total, including some for DH and the orphanage. But hey i paid not more than RM500 for 71 books which was awesome. And it did get my mind off things.

Anyway, last weekend me and DH decided to stay at home just the two of us. It's been a long time since we did just that, and I'm glad we did. Blame it on the Clomid but I was weepy the whole afternoon yesterday. Every little thing would set me off and get the waterworks going. DH watched me in amusement coz he's used to it from my last two rounds of IUI hahhaah.

This morning we went back to HUKM to start my puregon shots. The last time I did this was two years ago. The shot stung a bit but the pain went away after a couple of minutes. We're supposed to go back to do my scan thus Friday and see whether my follicles are growing smoothly or not.

I made DH promise to call me every two hours. I think he's resigned himself to the fact that his wife is gonna be a bit cuckoo this month LOL. But I know he loves me to bits and that's all that matters, right?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Well that went well

So yesterday was CD1 for me. On doc's instructions I started taking clomid yesterday. I'm not sure if it's related but I experienced severe cramps after popping them. So much so that I had to sleep with a hot waer bottle on my tummy all night long. And let's not forget the mood swings. Seriously I felt like slapping everybody who came within one meter from me.

On a brighter note I have found that with the condition I'm in now I can practically get away with everything with DH. Through 6 years of marriage he has always been an excellent husband but yesterday I must day that his rating went up several notches in my book. He made a mug of hot Milo and chicken porridge for dinner. He filled in the water bottle with hot water before I went to bed. He even offered to warm up some milk, to which I declined coz all I wanted to do at that time was sleep off the pain. Excellent, isn't he? :)

Today is CD2. I've already popped my clomid for the day. So far I feel fine. Let's hope this will last. I've also applied for leave tomorrow. I thought of spending the day with DH at the book fair tomorrow in Serdang. I know that one I start my egg retrieval there is no chance he's gonna let me go out except to go to work. I'm trying to enjoy this ride but these cramps are not making it easy! Oh well, tomorrow's another day :)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Here We Go!

My period came this afternoon. I don't know whether I should do the chicken dance or cry till my eyes bleed. In a way I'm kinda excited coz this marks our IVF journey. Disappointed coz it means that I have failed yet again to conceive. BUT I'm tryin to take this all in my stride. I've popped two clomid pills. Doc reduced my dosage from 150mg to 100mg a day coz judging from my last IUI cycle I produced 18 eggs in total out of 150mg clomid and he wants "quality not quantity". So that's done. I read the doa for zuriat before popping the pills. Must remember to do that everytime I do something related to IVF.

I spoke to Wan and he sounded more nervous than I am which is a shocker coz he's usually the calm one. So far I feel fine aside from the period cramps I'm having. We will have to go to MAC on Monday to get my puregon shots started. Hoping and praying this will work. Also praying that I won't be an emotional wreck this whole month. Ha!

Easing our worries

Husband decided that a trip to MAC is necessary coz there are still a lot o questions running through our heads about the IVF procedure. So this morning we went to see Prof Hashim and asked him about the procedure and what it involves. He ran through the process where a natural conception takes place and why IV is different. According to him the chances of the eggs fertilizing is about 80%-90% but the percentage for take home baby is only 40% coz there are also other environmental factors to consider. I asked him about the extraction process and it sounds painful although he assured me that I won't be conscious at the time. He also said that my problem could be my tubes coz my uterus lining seems fine. That gave me hope coz if that's the problem then IVF might just work.

I'm glad Wan talked me into going. We did get the answers that we were looking for. Now all we gotta do is get kn the IVF train and enjoy the ride. So here's to IVF and to our future babies InsyaAllah :)