I'm Alive!

Hello beautiful people! No I did not fall of a cliff. Nothing much happened since my last post warranted an update, hence the silence. Well, except for my Istanbul holiday in October, which was a blast. Some photos from the trip :)

            The gorgeous Blue Mosque

Tableware and decorations with Iznik motifs. We managed to snag a few from the Grand Bazaar

Us at Topkapi Palace. You cannot not spend at least 2 hours at this beautiful palace

The Grand Bazaar. We bought quite a few things here at great prices. And we met some of the nicest sellers here

Me and hubs at Galata Bridge. In the background is Galata

Best Turkish coffee can be found at Mandabatmaz in Istiklal. We had two cups each of the strong brew.

Uncle Altan here is definitely my favourite seller in Istanbul. His shop sells the yummiest candies and Turkish delights (lokum)

We saw the whirling dervish show here. Amazing.

Our favourite carpet sellers. Such nice people

Us in front of Dolmabahce Palace. A magnificent monument. Attaturk used to live here. He also died here

Another amazing building, Hagia Sophia. A church turned into a mosque turned into a museum. I must have stood at this spot for a good few minutes with my mouth open, gaping at its splendor.

We shopped. We ate. We walked. We went on ferry trips. We made new friends. We had the time of our lives. Cannot wait to start planning our holiday for next year. 

Hubs and I also celebrated my birthday last weekend with a bang. He took me to Mamma Mia the Musical on Friday (I took the day off), brought me to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale and got me a mountain of books (in addition to the haul which I already got a couple of weeks ago) and treated me to Japanese food at Kampachi. Good stuff.

In other news, I'm seeing Dr. Adilah tomorrow. If everything goes well, we'll do FET Insha Allah in January. I've missed my doctor. Seeing her face always gives me comfort. I'll have more updates after tomorrow.

Have a good day chickadees!

Hello!

Boy, have I been a slacker. Hello beautiful people! *wave*

So my AF this month came 4 days late. A bit unusual since it always arrives on time. What's even more unusual was my reaction. I used to be excited and would rush off to the pharmacy to get HPTs, but this time I was very indifferent. Probably because I've always been disappointed in the past and I was setting myself up for another disappointed. So I waited. I even ran a 10 km marathon on Saturday night. And guess what? AF came in full force this morning. I think I have resigned myself to the fact that I can never get pregnant without any medical or scientific assistance.

Also, Stirrup Queens put up a blog post a couple of days ago on pregnancy loss which I thought was very well written. I think the reason why it spoke to me is because when I miscarried both times, I really didn't know how to grieve. How do you grieve over someone whom you've never met and didn't exist except in your womb and in your mind? For all you beautiful ladies (and gents) who have experienced pregnancy loss, check the post out.

Anyway, what have I been up to lately? Let's see. I ran and completed two 10 km marathons in two months. The first was the Standard Chartered KL Marathon last month and the BSN Putrajaya Night Marathon last Saturday night. I enjoyed myself tremendously both times, although I'm not too happy with my running time. The night marathon was especially fun coz it was my first time running at night, plus the atmosphere at the event was electric, complete with fire breathers! As usual DH voiced his regret in not signing up. I swear I'm gonna sign him up for every marathon that I sign up next year LOL.

Some pictures from both marathons:

        Almost at the finishing line! (Standard Chartered)

               Us with our finisher's medals (Putrajaya)

               Me & my number one supporter

In other news, our Japan trip is two weeks away yipee! DH and I are basically all set and ready to go. All our hotels are booked and I already bought our Disneyland tickets. The only thing left to do is to get our JR passes. I told DH that after this trip, I'm gonna retire from doing itineraries. Seriously folks, doing itineraries is no small feat. I practically cracked my head thinking of what we're going to do, where we're going to go, looking at train schedules etc. I had to force DH to read Japan's Lonely Planet and tell me where he wants to go. Men!

So, we'll be going to Tokyo, Mt Fuji, Hiroshima, Kyoto and Osaka during our ten day trip. Booking hostels for all these places was a nightmare. We had to cancel our booking for the hostel in Hiroshima coz we realized that we will only reach Hiroshima at 7 a.m. from Mt Fuji instead of the night before, and since we'll be sleeping in the train, there's no point in booking a hostel. And then we decided to add another day in Kyoto, so I had to book an extra day at the hostel and cancel a booking for one night in Tokyo. I think by the end of this trip I will be so exhausted that I'll probably another holiday to recuperate. I will try to post entries on what we're up to at the end of each day (thank God for WiFi at the hostel) although by the end of each day I'll probably collapse on the tatami mat in exhaustion LOL.

Things that I'm excited to do in Japan:
1. watch the tuna auction at Tsukiji Market (if we manage to get a place since only 120 visitors are allowed each day to watch the auction)
2. go hiking at Mt Fuji
3. take a dip a the Onsen in Mt Fuji
4. cry at the A-Bomb Dome and Peace Memorial
5. try and catch a glimpse of geishas in Kyoto
6. Disneyland!!!

But right now, I've gotta finish off as much work as I can. Sure I have someone covering for me while I'm gone, but I'd hate to burden her when she also has things to do.

Till next time, ciao!

Umrah 2013: Madinah

So last month hubs and I went to Mekah for Umrah and Madinah for our ziarah. It was such a wonderful and enlightening experience that while we were packing to go home, we were already planning to go again next year. I feel so blessed to have gone for the trip. To be honest I had my reservations initially. I thought I wasn't ready to go to the Holy Land (probably because I know I haven't been the best Muslim), but Alhamdulillah everything went really smoothly. A friend once told me that going on Umrah with your spouse is one of the most romantic things you can do. And she was right.

We landed in Jeddah and had to take a four hour bus trip to Madinah. By the time we reached Madinah we were exhausted from the total of 12 hour journey, but as soon as we laid eyes on Masjid Nabawi (the Prophet's mosque), we immediately perked up. MasyaAllah the mosque was so beautiful. It was a picture of peace and serenity. I mean, just look at this.

Masjid Nabawi at night

These "roofs" will open or close depending on the weather, much like an umbrella. Cool eh?

Beneath this green dome lies the Prophet's makam

Us outside Masjid Nabawi

The beautiful interior of Masjid Nabawi

Our exhaustion having disappeared, we checked in and got ready to go to the mosque for Fajr prayer. I can't even begin to describe the feeling when praying at Masjid Nabawi. It was like the world outside magically disappeared. It was all about me, God and the Prophet. I imagine people do say this, and before I performed my umrah I would have said that this is all hogwash, but really, when you are in Masjid Nabawi, you could feel the Prophet's presence. It was as close as I could get to be in his presence, and it wasn't nearly enough. Alhamdulillah we never once skipped praying at Masjid Nabawi. The fact that the mosque was quite near our hotel was a big plus. One tip when praying at Masjid Nabawi is to keep your smart phone in your socks. Taking photos is not allowed in the mosque and there will lady guards outside the mosque who will check your bags when you enter the mosque. But guess what? They never check your socks. So there you go :D

My only challenge while we were in Madinah was performing solat at Raudhah, where the Prophet's makam was. There were too many people and me being Malaysian and small compared to Arab women, got pushed and shoved around a lot. But I did manage to perform two solat sunat at Raudhah, Alhamdulillah. Apparently the men are a lot more civilized and DH managed to perform thirty solat sunat at Raudah. Thirty!! I'm so super jealous!

We spent five days in Madinah and I loved everything about it. From the beautiful mosque to the beautiful people, from walking through the street market outside the mosque after each prayer time to haggling with shopkeepers for the best abaya price, from the cool zamzam water provided for free around the mosque to the steaming hot Arabic coffee. It was wonderful.

The street market outside the gates of Masjid Nabawi. I must have bought at least ten scarves here for 5 Saudi Riyal each (equivalent to RM4.20/USD1.30)

Nuts about nuts

Our mutawif, an amazing ustaz took us around to ziarah around Madinah and told us stories on the Prophet s.a.w. and his companions. He told us the stories so eloquently that at times I found my eyes welling with tears listening to the sacrifices that the Prophet and his companions made during their time. We passed by the graveyards of the Caliphs and the Prophet's companions and offered prayers for them. I remember when our mutawif told us about the Battle of Uhud where the Prophet's uncle, Hamzah was killed by an assassin, Wahsyi, who ripped out his chest and took out his heart to present to Hindun, the lady who hired Wahsyi to kill Hamzah to avenge her husband's death, I cried.

Us outside the garden where Saydina Abu Bakar was elected as the first Caliph after the passing of the Prophet s.a.w

Masjid Kuba, the first mosque built by the Prophet s.a.w

After five days it was time for us to pack out bags and leave Madinah for Mekah, the Holy City. Here's DH in his ihram.

I performed Ziarah Wida' at the Prophet's makam and I cried, not knowing when I'll be able to visit the Prophet again. I've asked this question a lot of times in Madinah, "how can you miss someone you've never met?" There is no answer to this. All I can say is that I miss the Prophet, even though I've never met him. My hope is that I will be in his presence in the hereafter, InsyaAllah.

Anyway, after checking out of the hotel, we hopped on the bus and went on our way to Mekah. We stopped by Bir Ali Mosque for our Miqat and was delayed coz the bus driver forgot to bring his permit LOL. As much as we were eager to reach Mekah, we were resigned to the fact that this was just one of the many trials that we had to go through. Since there was nothing we could do about it, we decided to just wait it out. We finally departed at around 3 p.m. and arrived in Mekah at almost midnight. More on our Umrah in Mekah in my next post.

Much love,

A Holiday, a Funeral and a Manifesto

So two Wednesdays ago, DH, Mom and I boarded the plane and flew all the way to Jakarta. We made this plan since my BFF got the word that she was transferred to her Jakarta office, so we didn't need to stay at a hotel. Well, BFF's place is a service apartment, so technically it's a hotel. We stayed here. Cool, eh?

Hello Jakarta!

We spent three nights in Jakarta. I quite like Jakarta actually. DH did too, despite the massive, and I mean massive traffic jam. Just look at this.

You could be stuck in traffic for an hour just to get from BFF's place to the shopping mall across the street. Across the street! And yeah we took a cab to the mall across the street coz of mom's bad leg. We didn't do anything much there besides shopping. We managed to get our things for umrah, and very cheap too! Things in Jakarta are really cheap so we bough bags full of shawls and clothes. My friend took us to Dian Pelangi's boutique and mom and I bought a prayer attire each. For RM60 a piece, that's pretty darn cheap considering the same thing could fetch almost RM200 in KL. Quite a steal!

The shops in Tanah Abang. Super duper cheap stuff!

We also went up to the highland in Puncak. Nothing much to see there unless you want to sit at the coffeehouse and watch the view from above.

the tea plantation in Puncak

Me & Mom :D

Avocados in many shapes and sizes

Me & BFF at Dian Pelangi's boutique. Don't you just love the carvings behind us?

We returned home on Saturday and on Saturday morning, big sister knocked on my bedroom door and told me that our uncle is gravely ill and that mom wanted to go back to Ipoh to visit him. So I left for Ipoh with big sister and mom and rushed to the hospital. It turns out that uncle had a stroke and was in a coma by the time we got to Ipoh 2 hours later. We were lucky that little sister's friend is a doctor at that hospital and he managed to extract information about our uncle, that he was in critical stage and he had a lung infection to fight. We stayed at the hospital for a good few hours, and since there was nothing we could do we returned home. The next morning at dawn mom called to tell me that uncle has passed away. Again we made a two hour trip back to Batu Gajah for the funeral. It was a sad affair as uncle was well loved. In my mind he will always be dressed in his pagoda t-shirt and pelekat, greeting us excitedly whenever we came to visit. May you rest in peace uncle. 

Okay, enough of dreary stuff. Have you read this post by Stirrup Queens? I read it and I loved it! It's an infertility manifesto and it speaks to me. Loudly. Stirrup Queens wrote with such eloquence and I dare any infertile to disagree with me on this, she wrote what we infertiles feel and think every single day. Have a read you guys, and let the words speak to you, just as they did me. 

Have a fun filled week ahead!

Updates

Whoa! It's been almost a month since my last post. A month! Sorry about that. Nothing interesting happening in my life, hence the lack of posts. Well, actually I've had a couple of interesting moments, but was too lazy to write :P Had my 2nd of 3rd shot of Diphereline last month and will be taking the last shot this Saturday. I started to feel the effects of the shots from the 2nd shot, the worst being the hot flushes. And my goodness, do I sweat! When everyone at the office is freezing from the a/c, I'll be sweating and fanning myself. But aside from that and my libido going on a downward spiral (my RE was not joking about this) I feel fine. I don't feel like throwing tantrums every 2 seconds and I don't go crying every 5 minutes, so I'm gonna say this whole menopause thingy is actually kinda okay. And AF has stopped coming. Can't say I miss it. So that's everything about my forced menopause. RE's gonna do a vaginal scan and tummy scan this Saturday to make sure everything is okay, and we'll go from there.

Got my bonus this month Alhamdulillah. I got a very good rating from boss, as promised. I paid for my Mini Clubman in full, paid for my umrah (mini pilgrimage) next month InsyaAllah, got a little something for myself, gave some of my bonus to my parents, plan to take my family and buttcheeks out for a nice dinner, and the rest will go to my savings. And I'll be going for short holiday with DH and my mom to Jakarta this month yay!

I must say that it's refreshing to take a break from fertility treatments, well except for the Diphereline shots. I don't get depressed every month when I don't get pregnant because I know I can't (thanks Diphereline). I read a post from a blogger I follow that there should be a life outside infertility. And she's right. I told myself a long time ago that I will not let my life revolve around my infertility, although at times I've done just that. It's not healthy for me and for my marriage. My life will not be dictated by my inability to conceive and to carry a baby full term, and I will try to keep that in mind the next time I get depressed. And to celebrate being free from the shackles of having to take clomide and being a pin cushion, DH and I booked tickets to...drum roll please! Japan!!! We'll be going to mainly Osaka and Tokyo in November and I can't wait!

Disneyland, here I come!

So, that's my short update. Will update more after my appointment with Dr. Adilah this Saturday. Oh and have you heard about the Veronica Mars movie that's coming out next year? I'm stoked! Yup, I'm a sucker for teen drama. Bet you didn't know that about me heh? :P

This and That

The year so far has been really good, Alhamdulillah. Except for that bump in the road to our baby miracle, everything has been swell. Even that bump in the road has a silver lining. At least now I know what really is wrong with my uterus, tubes etc right?

DH surprised me with a Mini Clubman last Friday. It's not a present, mind you. I told him that I'd like to pay for it and I will. I've been wanting one for as long as I can remember and I know that he had been scouring the internet to find one with a good deal, and being the magician that he is, he found one! It's an electric blue beauty and is in a very good condition. The best part is that it's a 1979 Mini Clubman, the year I was born. Talk about being meant to be LOL. I've been driving it to work since I got it, and I love it love it love it! Got a few looks while driving it and one driver even rolled down his window and yelled, "nice car!" LOL

Isn't she gorgeous?

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Last week I had my performance review with boss, and the feedback that I got from him was good Alhamdulillah. I was told that he's very happy with my performance last year and that this year he wants me to take on a more leadership role. I say bring it on! I'm hoping to treat myself, DH, my family and my buttcheeks and BFFs this year with my bonus, so I'm hoping that my bonus will be really good this year. Plus, I need to deposit a few bucks in our IVF fund and I have to pay DH back for the Mini so there's that.
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Have you guys listened to Josh Groban's latest album "All The Echoes"? You haven't? Well, what are you waiting for? I've been waiting for so long for this new album to come out and my take on it is that it's well worth the wait. His voice is gorgeous. The songs are gorgeous. And he's good looking to boot!

Get it get it get it. You won't regret it

I saw the Grammys yesterday and there was quite a hype on this Ed Sheeran dude, so I'm gonna give his album a listen. I'm hoping it will live up to all the hype, and since the "singer/songwriter" genre is more of my cup of tea, as opposed to all the trash that's been on the airwave lately. Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe was nominated for Song of the Year? Seriously? Granted, I'm probably a bit too old now to listen to those kinds of music :P

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Got my first shot of Diphereline for my endometriosis last Saturday. That plus the Metronidazole antibiotics that I'm taking is making me feel a wee bit wonky. Been having on and off headaches and a bit of nausea. Does anyone know of any home remedies for headache and nausea? I loathe the idea of taking paracetamol every time the headache and nausea hit me. Fun fact. Did you know that Diphereline is originally used for prostate cancer patients? Yikes!

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Since IVF is a no go until at least the end of the year, DH and I have decided to take a holiday. Our options are:

1. Jakarta (no brainer since BFF is moving there end of the month)

2. Japan (almost certain that we'll be going late this year)

3. Hong Kong (a trip with buttcheeks perhaps?)

Any other suggestions? Preferably in the Asia Pacific region. We'll talk about US and Europe in a couple of years LOL. 

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I'm currently reading this.

I only read the "chic lit" genre when I'm feeling blue and am in need of a good laugh and this book does the trick and hits all the right spots. It's laugh out loud funny and reminds me a bit of these books by Laura Wolf, which I read eons ago. 

What are you up to lately?