Updates! (Finally)

So in my last post I talked about getting a second opinion. I mean after two failed IVFs I figured what's the harm in that. So DH and I talked to a specialist at Pantai Hospital and she recommended a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy procedure, which I did last Monday. I was put under GA, which knocked me out cold within seconds. As much as I love GA, I don't enjoy the aftereffect. I hate waking up groggy and freezing cold in the recovery room. Thankfully the nurses covered me with a thermal blanket which helped somewhat. I also hate the fact that I slur when I talk after a procedure. It's as if I've forgotten how to speak properly. But I did survive the procedure Alhamdulillah.

I am so glad that DH was with me at all times at the hospital, at least until I sent him home to get a good night sleep. I had to share a room with another patient (there wasn't a single room available) and he would have nowhere comfortable to sleep so I sent him home. Lucky thing I did coz I remember being woken up in the middle of the night for my medication and I heard the nurse gently telling the husband of the other patient that he couldn't sleep in the room because I was in the next bed. It's a hospital policy kinda thing. DH came back the next morning to bring me porridge while waiting for the doctor to make her rounds. I had quite a lot of vaginal bleeding after the procedure which is quite common. She explained to me her findings on the surgery although not in detail. We were to see her yesterday for a follow up appointment where she explained everything.  We went to see her yesterday and the bad news is that Dr. Adilah confirmed that my left tube is indeed blocked, that I had a small cyst which she removed and that I have some endometriosis. The worst blow is that she said that there is some obstruction in my uterus. The funny thing is despite all this bad news, I didn't feel sad. I wanted to know if she has seen this kind of condition and whether it can be fixed, and she said yes to both, and that's a relief. I suppose that's all I want to know for now. I want to fix what needs to be fixed and take it from there.

So she prescribed me two types of antibiotics and a type of injectibles. The antibiotics will hopefully treat any infection that I might have (which explains the obstruction in the uterus) and the injectibles will have a menopausal effect i.e. to stop AF to treat my endometriosis. The doctor will also insert a contraption in my uterus to make a gap to clear the obstruction (think IUD) and to facilitate the growth of new tissue. After I take the last of my three injectibles, she will do an x-ray on me and/or a vaginal scan to see if the meds work. I might also have to do another laparoscopy to confirm that everything is in working order. The downside of these meds is that I will have headaches, tummy aches, nausea and I will be hormonal. I actually feel bad for my internal clients who will be more than likely to piss me off on more than one occasions. Oh and apparently the nurse at the ward was supposed to prescribe me antibiotics which were to be taken immediately, but instead she told me to wait for my appointment yesterday. She gave a four meds to be taken with me when I saw the doctor yesterday and when I showed her the antibiotics, the doctor almost fainted with panic. I was lucky that I didn't have any infection or that I hadn't contracted a fever. But my vaginal bleeding still hasn't stopped on account that I didn't take my antibiotics.

I can tell you right now that my tummy already has four scars from all these procedures, but I don't mind. They say scars tell stories, and I do have stories to tell our future child when he/she decides to enter the world. I just hope that our child will appreciate what me and DH have gone through to get him/her here.

The doctor gave me three weeks of medical leave, which surprised me since it was a simple procedure, but I took it anyway, although I'll have to start work tomorrow on account of it being performance review time which I have to complete if I want to get my bonus. I've been spending the days watching Downton Abbey from the beginning (I'm a little bit late to the party). Have you guys seen it? I love it! I have to say the stories of the servants interest me more than those of the lords and ladies of the manor, although Maggie Smith as the Dowager Countess is my favourite character on the show.  Anyway, I got bored after a week of staying at home so last Friday I took DH out for dinner as a treat for him for taking such good care of me during my medical leave. He actually made lunch and dinner for me the whole week! I took him to La Risata, an Italian restaurant which has been around since forever but we never got the chance to try it out. I'm so happy to report that the food was delicious! We ordered the seafood pasta, the pizza carbonara and tiramisu for dessert and finished it off with a cup of macchiato each.

DH set up the day bed in front of the telly for me so I wouldn't have to move around too much

So that's the story of my adventure last week. I'll be going back to the real world tomorrow and will see the doctor again next Saturday for my first shot of the injectible. Will let you know how that turns out.

Thanks for reading!

Second Opinion

So DH and I saw another specialist to talk about our fertility issues this morning. Not that I want to replace Prof Hashim, but I just need another doctor to see this from another perspective. It all started when my buttcheek gave me a link to Dr Adilah's (thats the name of this specialist) blog and we decided to check it out. We read her blog and we liked what we read (one post about tubal blockage got us interested) so we decided to see her. DH made the appointment and she had an opening this morning.

To be honest I had no expectation about this morning's appointment. But I was interested to hear what she had to say about my protocol and what her plans are if we decide to switch specialists. Purely by coincidence, my buttcheek's appointment to see her was also this morning. It was nice having her to talk to while waiting for our turn.

When our turn came, we went in and as soon as we sat down and made ourselves comfortable, the first thing she asked was, "okay, what's the story with you guys?" So we told her our history, our two failed IUIs and two miscarriages from IVF. It was a good thing we brought all our IVF documents for her to look at. She took one look at our IVF papers and asked, "how did you know you were pregnant?" I told her I took the HPT and she had this thoughtful look on her face.
Doc: But you took HCG shots?
Me: Yup
Doc: Usually if you take HCG shots when you take HPT the result could be false positive, unless you take it one month after you finish your HCG shots
The moment she said this my immediate thought was that I may not have been pregnant at all both times. Hmmmm...

Aaaaaaanyway, she asked us a few more questions about my blocked tube. It was too bad that we didn't have the result of the laparoscopy so we couldn't really tell her the specifics. Then she told me that she would like to do a vaginal scan on me, which I was too happy to do (apparently I've already started ovulating this month. There's a nice little egg in me right now but it's on my left ovary which sucks coz the left tube is blocked). I also have a retroverted uterus but according to her it's nothing to worry about. She did see some fluid on my right ovary with some specks in them. She couldn't tell if it was blood or something else. But the good news is I don't have any cysts at all. Phew!

Then she gave me two options, whether to start treatment and we'll take it from there, or to do a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy procedure for a thorough check on my tubes and if she can clear the blockage in my left tube. According to her, some of her patients got pregnant naturally after the blockage is cleared. I say, go for it doc!! So the surgery is fixed for next Monday. A bit too soon, but we'll take it. She will also check if I have endometriosis.

We left her office smiling. I told DH that I like her and DH said the same thing. I love that she took the time to explain everything in detail. Even while performing the vaginal scan she asked DH to come over and explained to both of us what she saw. My only complaint is the cost. I had to do some blood tests and the cost came up to RM473. We've been so used to cheap treatment at HUKM (blood test there costs RM5) and because Dr. Adilah practices at a private hospital, the cost will be high, although DH told me that if I really like her than he'll find a way to come up with the money to do IVF with her, if it at all comes to that. Thank God my laparoscopy and hysteroscopy procedures are covered by insurance. Phew!

So that's my story this morning. It was all a bit unplanned but we were happy with the outcome.Now I need to prepare myself for the surgery next Monday. Hopefully, eveything will go well InsyaAllah and hopefully Dr Adilah can perform some miracles so me and DH can finally hold our baby in our arms.

Last Post of 2012

So another year has gone by. 2012 has been a year of ups and downs. There were a few heartaches. A lot of fallen tears. A crushed dream (again). BUT there were also a lot of laughs and plenty of joy. I have a lot to be thankful for this year:

1. I felt the joy of being pregnant again, albeit for only six weeks
2. I made some wonderful friends on Babycenter
3. I have a good job that pays fairly well
4. I have a loving husband who loves me to bits
5. My family is well, healthy and happy
6. I have my buttcheeks (not the literal ones. Well, you know what I'm talking about :P)
7. I finished not one, but two 10km marathons.

Sure, I also have some grouse on 2012 but I'm not gonna list them down. I'd rather sweep them under the rug and forget about them. 2013 is all about moving forward.

I don't make New Year resolutions. I do have some hopes for 2013 though:

1. I hope that when I do get pregnant again, my pregnancy will be a healthy one and my baby(ies) will be safe and will stay in my womb until she/he/they are ready to enter this world
2. I want my family and friends to stay happy and healthy
3. I want DH's firm to be more successful than it is now
4. I hope to go on a holiday, preferably outside Malaysia
5. I hope to get a big, fat bonus LOL
Ameeen...

How was your 2012? And what are your hopes for 2013?

Happy New Year everyone! May next year be all that you hope to be.

I'm Bored

It's year end and I'm sitting in an almost empty office with no pending work on my end and I've got Pink's album The Truth About Love blaring through my headphones. You should totally have a listen to the album by the way. I'm practically obsessed with it and that's saying something since I don't generally listen to pop albums. Favourite tracks: Try, The Great Escape, Just Give Me a Reason, Is This Thing On?, Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

Anyway, back to being bored. It's dangerous actually. It makes me browse the internet and when I browse the internet I usually go to online shopping sites, and when I go to online shopping sites, well you know what happens next.

Lately I've been visiting Etsy and Kwerkee a lot, to the point that I think I need to go for a rehab LOL. Anyway, I was browsing Etsy and for some reason I searched for baby stuff and I found some really adorable stuff. From baby rattles to onesies and from booties to jewelry  and I thought of surprising a few friends with presents for their new bundle of joys. I already bought some stuff at H&M for a friend who will be giving birth next month (see previous post) and now I'm on a roll! I can't seem to stop clicking "add to cart"! So I picked out a couple of stuff from Etsy for a couple of dear friends (whom I've never met) and had the presents sent over to them. These friends have been with me throughout my difficult and painful IVF journey and this is the only way I know how to thank them. I hope they will love the gifts as much as I loved picking them out for their little ones. One of the sellers will actually give 5% of the sale proceeds to a charity of my choice and I chose a charity which supports women with fertility issues. It felt really good after doing that. I mean, if only we had these kinds of charity here in Malaysia I think I'd jump on board.

Ok, I gotta go back to pretending that I'm busy with work LOL. Later!

Hello 33!

So I turned a year older last Wednesday. It was a pretty uneventful birthday for me, to be honest. Mama was admitted to the surgical ward for her knee replacement injury on Tuesday, so I basically spent my birthday in a hospital room. Not a great way to celebrate your birthday huh? But the good thing is, my little sister came back all the way from Sabah to be with Mama and our family and I got to spend a bit of time with her. I haven't seen her since Eid this year and it was nice having her around. We always have a good laugh when we're together. Mama's surgery went well, by the way, and aside from a slight inflammation on the surgical area, she is doing pretty good. She was supposed to be discharged yesterday but because of the inflammation, the doctor has ordered her to stay another night. But she's getting out today yay! Thank God she was in a private room. Since Baba kept her company at night, it's a good thing that the room was pretty comfortable. A stark difference from the general ward.

Anyway, on Friday DH took me out for dinner at Las Vacas. I was craving for a good slab of medium well steak for quite some time, and since I won't be able to eat anymore medium well meat when I start my IVF, I thought, what the heck. We (I especially) had a lovely time. The food was good and with DH sitting next time, it was lovely dinner date. The week before we went to Ampang Point (I can't remember for what exactly) and parked in front of Habib Jewels. And then DH told me that he wanted to have a look around. He went in and straightaway went to the Pandora section. I was looking around when suddenly DH said, "pick one." Whoa!! He said it's a birthday present from him. Yeehaa!!! I know that he had been looking at Pandora for quite some time, but I didn't expect to get one from him. He must have been thinking about my birthday present for quite some time, bless his heart. So I picked my bracelet and my charms and when I was happy with my selection, the sales assistant calculated the total bill and showed it to DH. He didn't even blink, thank God :P It was truly a surprise and I love him for that. So that's the story of how my birthday present came to be.

Beef wrap for appetizer. Yums!

DH's lamb chops. Also yums!

My rib eye steak. I asked for medium well but it was more of a well done :( It was still good though :)

My present from DH 

Me & DH. Thanks for dinner and the present love. xoxo

Ok back to last weekend. Little and big sisters took me out for lunch along with DH, BIL, DS and DD at Sushi Zanmai and we had a blast. BIL is not really a fan of sushi and he went for rice with chicken curry (boo!). Little sister is a lot more adventurous and went for raw oysters (yikes!). I for one cannot stomach raw oysters. Heck I can't even stomach sashimi. DH had a go at one of the oysters and the look on his face when he tried to swallow was priceless! I wish I had taken a photo of him while he went through the torture. His eyes started to water and he really looked like he was going to throw up. Next time BIL started to laugh uncontrollably. Lucky for DH he managed to swallow it and downed it with his green tea. It's safe to say that he won't be eating anymore raw oysters LOL. And then little sis and I went for some shopping. I got these for my friend who will be giving birth next time. Aren't they adorable? I love baby clothes!

Me, big sis & little Jasmine

What I wore for lunch. I was feeling a bit psychedelic :P Scarf (Uniqlo), blouse (MNG), jeggings (Uniqlo), shoes (Lacoste)

That night DH and I took little sister to the Big Bad Wolf Sale. I already got my haul the previous weekend (100 books in total. The books were RM8 each!) and was thinking that I probably won't be getting anymore, but I ended up buying 6 more books. I also got a couple more books for Jasmine and Dani. Jasmine decided to tag along (she's a bookworm like me) and colour me surprise, she actually behaved. I was hesitant to bring her along and made her promise to hold my hand the entire time and she actually did. While I was browsing she picked up a couple of books and started reading while walking next to me at the same time.

How much I spent on the first day of Big Bad Wolf Sale. Eeeekkk!! Money well spent though :P

On Sunday, I took little sister back to the hospital so she can say goodbye to Mama before I send her to the airport. She said she wants to go back in March, but with her busy schedules, we'll see. As usual she and Baba had the usual banter on where she was gonna go after her housemanship is over. We all want her to come back to KL but she seems dead set on staying on in Sabah. I'm gonna try to talk her out of it, but I don't think it's gonna work.

So that's how my birthday week went. And I just realized yesterday that I haven't even had a single birthday cake yet :( Maybe I'll get DH to get me a slice tomorrow tihihi.

Also, my good friend from Babycenter, Melissa gave birth to her bundle of joy on 21st December. Congrats my dear friend. Little Pete is a real cutie :D

Totally unrelated to this post. What I got from Kwerkee last week. Love it!!

My Boss Is Awesome

Seriously. He is. And I'll tell you why. Last week I told him that I plan to take a month off next year for IVF #3 and he...well he laughed and told me that we would discuss it later. Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for. But yesterday while we were killing time while waiting to be called for a meeting he brought the topic up. This is how the conversation went down...

Boss: So how long are you planning to take leave for?
Me: maybe a month or so? After all my projects are done
Boss: what projects are you doing right now?
Me (listing down all my big projects): But I can still work from home if you want
Boss: You did that the last two times and look what happened. This time I want total shutdown. No e-mails and no working from home. We'll discuss how we're gonna make this work later. I need to pace you and not give you heavy workload.

Now THAT I didn't expect. I always knew that boss is a reasonable man but for him to go all out and make sure that I won't be under any stress during IVF #3 is just amazing! Though he managed to slip into the conversation that he still want me to be seconded to ParentCo for a couple of months to get corporate experience but that's also something he'll discuss later. He wants to send somebody who "is capable and will not bring any embarrassment to the Co." Weeee! It's really a nice feeling knowing that your boss thinks you are capable and can get the job done.

Anyway, now that I've got the green light from boss (not that I needed to get his green light in the first place) I must make sure that I finish all my pending work. And not that I'm not excited about IVF #3, the thing that I'm most excited about is staying in bed all day during the one month break, with nothing but my books and my Macbook (for me to watch Friends rerun). No phone calls and e-mails from pesky internal clients. Bring it on!

Another Marathon and an Impromptu Team Building

So two weekends ago I went for another marathon with my buttcheek. I know. I surprise myself sometimes too :P But anyway, unlike the Penang Bridge Marathon I didn't quite enjoy this marathon. The theme for this marathon is "run with nature in Kuala Lumpur West". Run with nature did you say? All I saw during the run was mostly houses and construction sites. Blergh...But at least the water stations were where they said they were gonna be. And I did finish the 10 km run, although it took me longer this time, partly because I still had not recovered from my cough and there was a 600 metre steep hill to climb. I swear I felt like collapsing during the uphill climb. But I did it! Hooray!!

Me & buttcheek with our medals

And then last week we got word that we had to join a team building session with the Chief Corporate & Operations Officer's group. It was a last minute thing, mind you, as if they suddenly remembered that Legal Division is under his group. Anyway, we had to come up with a performance during the dinner. At first we decided to do a "dikir barat" but then figured that two days was not enough to practice and memorize the steps. So we finally decided on singing a couple of songs. Thank God our colleague, Syarhan knows how to play pretty well. And who knew, we actually won Best Performance! I almost choked on the honey dew I was eating when they announced it LOL. I actually had fun during the team building although initially I had my reservations. 

Practice session at the boss's room

"The Three Stooges"

The star of the show, Syarhan flanked by us ladies