Tuesday, May 27, 2014


So beta was this morning and as expected it was negative. In fact it was <2. It was pretty embarrassing really. I felt like failing an exam and I have never failed an exam in all my life. Well except for add math in Form Four but that was forgivable :P Expected because I've been testing from 6dpt until this morning and all of them were negative. DH couldn't understand why I kept testing every morning and not wait for beta. I told him that it was for my own sanity LOL. And I'm glad I did coz I wasn't taken by surprise when Dr told me the result. She immediately put a plan into action, which is why we adore her. The plan is to do a full antibody blood work this Thursday, see her next week and to do another hysteroscopy surgery in June. That's another two holes in my tummy to add to the existing four. I haven't even given birth and I have multiple scars on my tummy. Oh well, scars tell stories, don't they? Dr Adilah refused to do FET until she finds out what's wrong since my embryos, ovaries and uterus are all fine, which we are okay with. We'd rather find out and fix what's wrong than waste our embabies in a rush for FET.

So this is another test that He has thrown our way, one that we will persevere to overcome, or at least try to. Do I feel sad? Damn right I do. But I'm not giving up. If Dr Adilah is not giving up, we're not giving up. We are lucky that we have four embabies on ice. We are lucky that we have her as our RE. We are lucky that we still have money set aside to do FET this year. We are lucky to have each other.

We're going out to watch X-men in a bit. I'm going out for lunch with a newly made friend tomorrow (can't wait for this), and then go shopping to drown my sorrows. 

And then we'll try again. 


  1. We feel u dear...U've tried the very best..FET is waiting, more relax..more chances to success..Insha Allah..*hugs*

  2. Hugs... InshaAllah, there must be reason behind this. Stay strong dear...

  3. I will keep making doas for you....

  4. Hit. Us. Hard. Stay strong dear!!! XOXO