Nada

So beta was this morning and as expected it was negative. In fact it was <2. It was pretty embarrassing really. I felt like failing an exam and I have never failed an exam in all my life. Well except for add math in Form Four but that was forgivable :P Expected because I've been testing from 6dpt until this morning and all of them were negative. DH couldn't understand why I kept testing every morning and not wait for beta. I told him that it was for my own sanity LOL. And I'm glad I did coz I wasn't taken by surprise when Dr told me the result. She immediately put a plan into action, which is why we adore her. The plan is to do a full antibody blood work this Thursday, see her next week and to do another hysteroscopy surgery in June. That's another two holes in my tummy to add to the existing four. I haven't even given birth and I have multiple scars on my tummy. Oh well, scars tell stories, don't they? Dr Adilah refused to do FET until she finds out what's wrong since my embryos, ovaries and uterus are all fine, which we are okay with. We'd rather find out and fix what's wrong than waste our embabies in a rush for FET.

So this is another test that He has thrown our way, one that we will persevere to overcome, or at least try to. Do I feel sad? Damn right I do. But I'm not giving up. If Dr Adilah is not giving up, we're not giving up. We are lucky that we have four embabies on ice. We are lucky that we have her as our RE. We are lucky that we still have money set aside to do FET this year. We are lucky to have each other.

We're going out to watch X-men in a bit. I'm going out for lunch with a newly made friend tomorrow (can't wait for this), and then go shopping to drown my sorrows. 

And then we'll try again. 

C.O.N.S.T.I.P.A.T.E.D

My God have I been constipated since ER. It was just so awful I don't even know how to explain. Bottom line, I haven't been able to "go" since ER. Disgusting I know. I don't know if it's the anesthetic gas or the drugs that I've been taking, but it's gotten so bad that my tummy was in pain. I mentioned about it to the doctor and she said it could be a symptom of OHSS. Crap. Although I don't think it is coz I haven't gained any significant weight not have my abdominal girth expanded significantly. I know coz I've been weighing and measuring myself everyday as instructed by the doctor. Anyway, I told the doctor about it again this morning and she told me to take Duphalac. And whaddaya know, two hours after taking 15ml of Duphalac I cleared my bowel. Hooray!

Also, I've been texting the doctor about my daily fluid intake and urine output. Again, disgusting I know. Even writing about it makes me cringe. I'm supposed to take a minimum of 2L of fluid a day, and can I just say that right now, I can't even look at a glass of water without wanting to throw up. And speaking of throwing up, you guessed it. I threw up every day for the last two days. 

I'm not complaining but this is way harder than my last two IVFs. But I'm taking all this in my stride. Hopefully this is a sign that I'm responding to the treatment. 

Tomorrow is ET day and I still haven't packed my bag. I just finished doing my office work to make my colleagues' jobs easier in my absence. I'm supposed to call the clinic first tomorrow before coming over. ET is at 3 pm do my guess is that they don't want me to waste my time by coming early. But as usual, we IVF patients are all kinds of crazy. When I got the call from the nurse telling me to call the clinic first, my brain started telling me that maybe there's something wrong. Maybe the embies haven't grown to the point that they could be transferred. Crazy right?

Anyway, I gotta get my things ready for tomorrow. Talk to you guys soon. Hope you had a lovely weekend :)

Embabies!

So Wednesday was ER day. This time the doctor put me under general anesthetic which meant that I had to stay at the hospital a little bit longer. I won't bore you with details of the hospital stay. I will say that we managed to get 13 eggs! We could've gotten more except that I started bleeding so 13 was what we had. Came back home late in the evening with my body feeling like it had been run over by a bus. 

We went back to the hospital this morning for a follow up and out of 13 eggs, 7 of them became mature. Yay! Alhamdulillah. The doctor said that she will only transfer one in and the rest will be frozen, and we're fine with that. I'm not hoping for multiples, although that would be great. What I want is a good embryo to be transferred in that will grow into a beautiful baby InsyaAllah. 

So on Monday I'll have to be admitted to stay for 2 nights or so and for ET. I love that the doctor insists on me being admitted so that she can monitor my progress. Sure we're paying a lot more for this treatment this time, but we feel like we're being really looked after.

I brought home work to finish off this weekend so that come Monday I can rest and relax the entire 3 weeks that the doctor has given me MC.

So here's to hoping that everything goes well on Monday InsyaAllah.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Three Things

9 a.m: One spot of brown discharge

2 p.m: Collected these from the nurse *faint*

7.30 p.m: texted RE. Will most probably start stims on Sunday. 

I need to lie down and take this all in.

D for Determination

So since I had some bleeding last Saturday, the doctor told us to come in to the clinic yesterday for a scan. So we did and met the transvaginal wand. Everything looked okay. My uterus showed that AF will be coming real soon and she predicted to come tomorrow, which woul make our plan right in track. There was a small 3cm cyst though on my right ovary but she didn't think it was a cause for concern. If my period comes tomorrow then I will start taking my stims on Monday and ER will be on 14/5. Wow. This is really happening people! I cannot bloody wait. 

In other news, we got back my vitamin D blood test and thyroid result and...drum roll please! My result came back at 175 which was really good! Even the doctor was pleasantly surprised and even told us that it's very rare that her patients show her this kind of result *pattting myself on the back* Looks like religiously taking my multivitamins is paying off. Thank you Blackmore multivitamins. You may test awful but damn you're good! This time around I'm being very diligent in taking my supplements. Every little thing helps right? And I'm very determined to do every thing I can to make this cycle work. 

I'm supposed to collect my stims tomorrow and my next appointment is on 10/5. I feel good about this. InsyaAllah this is it. 

Happy Labour Day friends!