Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Should I or Shouldn't I?

So yesterday, out of the blue I thought of my two angel babies. The ones that I will get to meet in heaven InsyaAllah. And then my thoughts turned to the two tickers I have on my blog to remind me of them. It's been 1 year and 9 months since DH and I said goodbye to our first angel, and 1 year 3 months to our second angel. (For some reason I always thought of my angels being a pair of a boy and a girl. Huh). And it got me thinking, is it time for me to take down those tickers? A part of me tells me not to, and that just thinking about it makes me feel guilty. But a part of me knows that I need to do it some day. Does taking them down mean that I'm forgetting? I want to move on but I never want to forget. We'll be doing our IVF #3 hopefully in January and I don't want to be plagued with worries and fear from my miscarriages. So...any thoughts on this?

Also, I was reading blogs from my blog lists and one blogger put up a link to this story on Facebook. It's just so sad and yet so beautiful and gives me such hope.

"We are warriors of angels" ~ Jessica Lyn


  1. Hi Aiza, I think that deep down you know that they will always hold a cherished place in your heart even when you are holding your rainbow baby in your arms. Their memories will be honoured because you are a loving and compassionate human being who will make a wonderful mother and not because of the tickers.

    You are right to want to begin the process of healing and head in to your next IVF cycle with a fresh start and a positive mindset. My fingers and everything else are crossed for you!


    1. thank you for your comment Michelle. You're the sweetest! Maybe, just maybe I'll take them down before my next IVF cycle :P

  2. I also agree about never forgetting. They are with you always. Taking down a ticker does not mean you are forgetting at all. It means you are just making room for the ticker of your rainbow baby that will be set to how far along you are in your pregnancy and then how old your little one is! Rest easy in whatever decision you make as it will be the right one. {{hugs}}