Monday, January 30, 2012

Am I Bad Person?

So DH just told me that MIL was gonna stay the night at our place last Friday. I was kinda dreading it actually. That was the first time I saw her after the miscarriage. We're not close, my MIL and I. My fault partly coz for some reason I put up a barrier between me and my in laws. And who can blame me? The first thing that she said when she came to our house was that I have gained weight. Ermm hello. I was pregnant you know. That made me so annoyed but I held it in. I know I should have said something to DH but I just kept quiet.

I have been avoiding going back to DH's hometown and any gatherings that his siblings organized and so far he has not pushed me to go. But now I'm thinking I'm gonna have to go back to DH's hometown next weekend and DH hinted that I will have to. I'm kinda dreading that too coz I know I'll be seeing DH's new nephew who was born days apart from my m/c. It's gonna hurt. I'm sure of it. I know it's unfair of me but I can't help it when the feeling of sadness and depression surface.

So my question is, is avoiding seeing my in laws make me a bad person? How long do I have to keep feeling this way?


  1. Of course you are not a bad person. Grief affects everyone differently and you should never apologize for having the feelings that you do. If you think your DH would really sit down and listen to you, you should talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and how you think the trip will make you feel. See what he says. Eventually you will have to "face your demons" but you have to decide when you are ready to do that. No one else can. {{HUGS}}

    1. Thanks Mel. DH has been very understanding and even asked me not to go to previous gatherings coz he knew how upset I'd be but now I think it's only fair that I go back to his hometown this weekend. I guess I'll just have to keep my chin up and paste a fake smile on my face the entire time. Hugs back!