Monday, August 8, 2011

Damn You Flo!!

So my period came late. Five days to be exact. It's the fasting month so when my period didn't come on time my heart did a little leap, not because it would mean that I might be pregnant, but that it would mean I could continue to fast. By the time I was 3 days late I was beginning to be hopeful. But then my boobs weren't sore and I didn't have my usual pre-period cramps so I thought "this is it!". But learning from past experiences I knew not to jump the gun. I didn't get a PT kit from the pharmacy, but neither did I get my usual supply of tampons either. Silly me for not getting my supply because lo and behold Flo visited me on day 5.


To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. I knew deep inside that I shouldn't be too hopeful but when you've been waiting for six years to have a baby, you can't help but to be hopeful. So I'm feeling a wee bit down in the dumps today. I know I shouldn't be because I know God has plans for me and my man. We have decided to go ahead with IVF treatment in October. Our initial plan was to do it after Ramadhan but the company has a legal conference planned in Bangkok in September and my man told me to let loose and have fun first before we proceed with the treatment. He knows well enough that the hormone drugs will make me go crazy when I start taking them :P

My husband and I have talked about IVF for a long time and we've done research on what the procedure entails and I must say that it scares him more than it scares me. I for one think it's sweet that he's more concerned about the pain that I'll be going through (big fat needle and possible over stimulation of the follicles come to mind). I read a blog recently of a former infertile who just delivered a healthy baby boy three months ago after one attempt at IVF. The delivery was not easy and she had tears in her nether region as the doctors had to use a forcep to get the baby out. This was what she said: "flesh heals but I know that the pain of infertility does not". That made me tear up a bit. Infertility is painful. I'm not talking about physical pain but more of the emotional kind. The kind that won't go away by simply taking a few pain killers. So yeah, I'm looking forward to the IVF procedure and hopefully we're successfully on the first try.

On a positive note, this Friday marks the sixth year of marital bliss with my man. Since it's the fasting month, me and my man have decided to have dinner at Renai.ssance. We've got nothing fancy planned since we've already gone for our pre-anniversary holiday last month in Karambunai (lovely place by the way). Hopefully by Friday Flo will decice to leave (if you know what I mean :P)

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