Monday, January 3, 2011

It's time to move on

So my period came late. Four days late and enough to get my hopes up. At the back of my mind I know that I was down with the flu a week before my period was due and had to take a host of pills. That was probably the reason why it came late. But hey, a girl can dream right?

It came yesterday and for the first time in a long time I didn't care. I didn't feel like crying. I didn't feel angry or upset. Well I was a wee bit upset coz I had bought a PT from the pharmacy earlier that day which cost me 16 bucks. Thank God I hadn't used it yet or I would have been really upset LOL.

I asked that wonderful husband of mine when we're going ahead with our IVF plans and he said he'll fix an appointment next month. Hooray!! We're definitely moving forward with this. I can't say for sure that I'm mentally and physically ready for this but I've decided that we will take this one day at a time. Nothing is certain in life and there's only so much you can prepare for. I've had experiences with fertility drugs and what they can do to your body and your emotions so at least I know what to expect (except that the effect will probably be worse tenfold with IVF drugs :P)

My husband and I have talked about IVF and we've done research on what the procedure entails and I must say that it scares him more than it scares me. I for one think it's sweet that he's more concerned about the pain that I'll be going through (big fat needle and possible over stimulation of the follicles come to mind). I read a blog this morning of a former infertile who just delivered a healthy baby boy three months ago after one attempt at IVF. The delivery was not easy and she had tears in her nether region as the doctors had to use a forcep to get the baby out. This was what she said: "flesh heals but I know that the pain of infertility does not". That made me tear up a bit. Infertility is painful. I'm not talking about physical pain but more of the emotional kind. The kind that won't go away by taking a few pain killers.

So I'm done with the pain. It's time to move on. It's time to be proactive. So yes we'll be doing IVF InsyaAllah in a few months.

Ok to be continued later as I've got heaps of work to do. So here's to hope :)

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